Early stage of dating
I call these two characters the Hailstorm and the Turtle.
Most of my work with couples involves helping these two types of people get on the same page, meet each other’s needs and be happy together.
Because this same person usually has complementary traits to our own Their traits compensate for our weaknesses and vice versa.
Combined, the sum of our differences forms a unit more resilient than each of us are as individuals.
Inevitably, the Romance stage grinds to a halt when the drugs wear off.
You graduate from the Power Struggle stage when you: As simple as that sounds, actually getting through the Power Struggle stage is a bumpy ride for most couples.You wake up one morning with what I call a The highest percentage of first marriage divorces happen here – around the 3-year to 4-year mark.This is such a painful time for most couples as the illusion that ‘romantic love will last forever’ falls away. Instead of only seeing their similarities (as you did in the Romance stage), now all you can see are their differences and flaws.So, you get to work trying to change your partner back into the person you originally hoped they were, or punish them for not being that way, or both.Often one partner withdraws, while the other partner pursues…Often one partner withdraws, shutting down their heart and pulling away to get some space……while the other partner pursues them, demanding their attention while feeling desperately afraid that they are being emotionally deserted.